My Thoughts on the Relationship Between Offred and the Commander

        We’ve learned more about the unorthodox relationship between Offred and the Commander in the past few readings. My feelings about their relationship is mixed but predominantly negative. After the Commander and Offred first started meeting in his office, someone in class suggested that there was a fatherly aspect of the Commander’s actions towards Offred since he stated that part of his motivation for inviting her to play Scrabble with him was to make her less miserable. However, I had a different view on this. Especially after reading a little bit more of the book, I would confidently declare that the Commander is not fatherly at all. First, he asks her to kiss him “as if [she] meant it” at the end of their first encounter in his office; he does this at the end of multiple rendezvous. As if that wasn’t already enough to convince me that he isn’t trying to fulfill a paternal role, he brings her to a club where he expects her to have sex with him. All of these actions help me decipher the Commander’s true intentions. I don’t think that his motivation is purely to make her less miserable like he says it is, although it might play a part. The Commander knows that he is one of the main reasons why she is miserable as a handmaid since she has been forced into this position in order to provide a child for him and his wife. By indulging Offred in games like Scrabble, he’s easing his own conscious. 

        I believe one of the main reasons why the Commander invites Offred to his office is to provide him with companionship. Even though the Commander has a high social status, he still lacks meaningful relations with others. It seems everyone in the society, not only handmaids, is discouraged from building deep relationships. He has a wife, but they seem distant. He has people serving him such as the Guardians, but those relationships seem to be strictly professional. The meetings with Offred offer him a chance to create a connection with another human whom he can share his thoughts with, play games with, and gain perspectives from. Although Offred also seems to enjoy having someone to talk to, the Commander’s motives are more selfish than they seemed at first. 

        Another thing that makes me uncomfortable with their relationship is their extreme power dynamic. Although both the Commander and Offred seem to be gaining something from their arrangement, if anyone finds out about their meetings, Offred will undoubtedly take all the blame. In the Gileadean society, the person at fault is almost always the woman involved. This principle was seen at the Red Center when Janine was conditioned to believe that it was her fault that she was raped. If Offred and the Commander were caught, she would either be transferred, harassed by the wife, or subject to harsher punishments. The wife might even have the power to have her hung. The Commander, on the other hand, would most likely be assigned another handmaid whom he could exploit. There would be few repercussions for him aside from an angry wife. 

        Even though Offred seems to enjoy spending time in the Commander’s office since it provides her with a space in which she can read and write, I do not like the relationship they have formed. The power dynamic of the relationship combined with the sexual motivations of the Commander disgusts me. I wish Offred had a companion who had a similar social status, and thus wouldn’t be able to take advantage of her easily. This may be the reason why I was rooting for Nick and Offred or Ofglen and Offred to form a friendship.

-Kristine